i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
