I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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