Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
