I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
