You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
