remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
