Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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