did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize