Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
