a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
