I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
