what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
