id be glad to
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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