I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
