sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
