he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
