Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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