Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
