i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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