1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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