Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
