they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
