So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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