I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
