At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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