So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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