i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
