I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
