you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
