saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
