No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
be right there i have to get my cape
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
