RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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