white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
i've created a new STD.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Randomize
