even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
