It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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