So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
