So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
