She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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