no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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