Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
