idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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