so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
