The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize