I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
