Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize