boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
