My sheets look like a crime scene.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I want to fling myself into the sun
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
