Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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