i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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