At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize