i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
