I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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