I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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