ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
