it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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