her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize