it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
