i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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