I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
