it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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